There's No Need To Say What's On My Mind
by Lady Knight Lauren
Summary: Seventh year: It's time to party and have fun, two things that James is having trouble with when he sees the girl he likes with someone else. JamesSirius slash. Oneshot.


"I do believe that that gorgeous girl over there licking her lips might just have what I want tonight," Sirius Black shook his hair out of his eyes and strolled away. James Potter grinned as he watched his best friend lean against the Gryffindor common room wall casually, chatting to a pretty blonde girl, who smiled flirtatiously and took a step toward him. _Same old Padfoot_, he thought, shaking his head and walking over to the table that was piled high with food.

The Gryffindor common room was always noisy; especially with the Marauders making mischief whenever they felt it was getting too quiet, which was almost every night. But tonight the Lions outdid themselves, celebrating their Quidditch team's latest victory. James had a hard time wiping the smile off his face as he thought of all the goals he had scored, including a particularly difficult one where he was forced to loop the other team's Keeper while also faking a shot into the right hoop. When the Keeper had shot right, James threw the Quaffle left and voila. 130:40 Gryffindor lead. Almost right after this perfect play, Gideon Prewett had caught the Snitch, which meant Gryffindor was in the lead for the Quidditch Cup. It was a perfect day.

James ambled over to his favorite chair by the fireside, watching all the Gryffindors party. Remus Lupin was in the Hospital Wing recovering from the previous night's transformation, and Peter Pettigrew was talking animatedly to the fifth year Chaser Marlene McKinnon. With Sirius flirting with his newest girl toy, James had nothing else to do but observe the rest of the students.

His eyes flicked over the crowd, coming to rest on a beautiful redhead girl. He sighed, staring at her for a moment. He'd thought she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen ever since he first caught sight of her in their first year. It was now his seventh and final year to convince Lily Evans to give him a chance, and he knew that it would take some work. Still, he believed it would be worth it. He then took in her surroundings and saw her talking to some sixth year boy he knew by sight. No, she wasn't just talking, he recognized that body language; she was flirting. She twirled her hair around a finger and bit her lip cautiously, lowering her eyelashes and pretending to blush as the boy complimented her. James felt his anger rise dangerously as he watched the boy reach out to touch her face. Lily looked up and the two stared at each other for a moment before leaning in for a kiss.

James couldn't take it. He stood up, his euphoria over the team's triumph evaporating in a matter of seconds, and stormed off into his dorm, slamming the door behind him. He didn't know whether he wanted to punch something or collapse on the bed, so he compromised by punching the bed then falling on it. The minutes flew by, and neither James's anger nor his sadness evaporated quickly.

"Prongs?" The whisper drifted towards him as the door creaked open, but James did not answer. "Hey, Prongs," Sirius said again, but James rolled on his side so that Sirius would not see his face. _Sirius probably just wanted to see if the coast is clear so he could bring that blonde up here_, James thought icily.

A heavy weight fell on the side of his bed and James turned over. Sirius hadn't brought the blonde up here after all; he was alone, and what was more, his face was shining with concern for his friend. Even though James was still feeling sorry for himself, he did feel a great rush of emotion for Sirius's loyalty.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked gently.

"That's such a stupid question," James snapped, turning back over. "If everything was perfect, would I be up here?"

An awkward silence formed for a minute before Sirius carefully responded, "You're right. It was stupid. So how about this one instead: What's wrong?"

James snorted in disbelief. "Obviously I don't want to talk about it Padfoot."

"Okay, let's just cut to the chase, shall we?" Sirius said, losing what little patience he had. "I saw Lily Evans and that kid kissing right before you stormed out of the room. I can put two and two together James."

James stubbornly refused to answer, and silence fell once more. "James, talk to me," Sirius pleaded with his best friend.

James sat up. "What do you want me to say?" he yelled. "I've liked that girl since first year, and she never gave me a chance. Not one chance! I was willing to change for her, I've been acting a lot better this year, and that was hard for me to do, yet she still ignores me. But then she goes off with some stupid sixth year, because apparently it's alright for her to kiss anyone in the common room, where everyone can see, but she can't give me one freaking chance!" He was completely aware that his logic made no sense, but he didn't care at this point. He just wanted to yell, and Sirius was there, willing to listen.

And Sirius did listen. James ranted for a long time, and Sirius made no attempt to stop him. He knew his friend needed to yell because it hurt James to see Lily with someone else, and the only thing that would help him for a little while was yelling until he was hoarse. When James stopped talking, his face still glowing with rage, Sirius spoke up.

"I know, James. I know," was all Sirius said, but it was all James needed to hear. James's anger had disappeared completely, and now he only felt sadness. He put his hand in his hands, drawing his legs up to cover his face so that his friend wouldn't see him become weak. He was Prongs, he couldn't be weak, not over some stupid girl, he told himself. Yet those thoughts were not enough to stop the tears leaking out of his eyes.

James tried hard to stop his body from racking with the sobs, he tried to be a man, but he couldn't. A voice in the back of his mind laughed humorlessly at the thought of what Sirius must be thinking right now, seeing his best friend huddled up, crying over Lily Evans. _He must think I'm pathetic_.

But Sirius didn't think that at all. He looked at James and saw someone who had been hurt, someone who put his heart into something only to have it crushed mercilessly. He wrapped his arms around James and silently held him close as James cried. The silence fell once more, but this time it wasn't awkward or stubborn, it was just melancholy. It was the silence between two people, one who completely understood the other's feelings that moment and the other who deeply appreciated the fact that he had someone in this very room who cared enough for him to hold him and support him.

Even when James stopped crying, he did not pull away immediately. Instead, he allowed Sirius to hold him, appreciating the feel of his arms around his body. Slowly, he took his head out of his hands and turned to face the person he once called his best friend. James knew now that Sirius was much more than a best friend, because Sirius made him feel better just by being there, Sirius supported him and held him when he needed it, Sirius made him laugh every day with his stupid jokes. He looked this man in the eyes, letting his own eyes convey his gratitude.

Sirius did not let his arms fall when James looked at him, but stared back into James's hazel eyes. He tilted his head, silently asking if James was alright, and James responded with a slow nod, never taking his eyes away from Sirius's gray ones. They were close enough to hear the other taking deep, deliberate breaths and to feel each other's chests rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern.

James would never know who leaned in first. All he knew is that one moment he and Sirius were staring into each other's eyes and the next his lips were caressing Sirius's in a tender, almost shy, kiss. What shocked him the most was that it seemed so natural, so perfect. He could only dimly remember the image that had haunted him only seconds before: the image of Lily and the boy downstairs. The tender kiss turned deeper as neither man pulled away from the embrace, and the dim image disappeared from James's mind completely.

He never remembered breaking the kiss, but the next thing James felt was Sirius's hands on his chest and he realized that his shirt was fluttering to the floor. James reached for Sirius's shirt and pulled it over his head, holding on to the kiss until the last second, then immediately returning when the shirt was off. Merlin, he needed this. He needed to feel something instead of the numbness he always felt when he saw Lily. Being able to feel for one night, even if this was just one night and would never happen again, it was a prize James had never had. So he let it happen.

Sirius was more experienced, so naturally he took charge. James just followed his lead, letting Sirius do whatever he needed. Off went the pants. Bye-bye boxers. Hello perfect moment and sweet, sweet pain.


End file.
